3 Ways Of Building Powerful Confidence

When was the last time that you felt confident about something? Probably when you had a good idea of what the outcome would be.

That’s a big part of confidence! Knowing what the outcome will be.

Your brain’s #1 job is to keep you safe and that includes protecting you from embarrassment which hurts your self-esteem. In order to have confidence, you have to have some idea of what the outcome of the situation will be.

If you have a speech or piano recital in front of a large audience, there are so many things that could happen and there are too many factors to feel certain about. If you try and predict the outcome of all of these possibilities, what will happen? You will be focused on everything else but what you were doing, which will definitely lead to mistakes, problems, and stress.

Let’s look at how we can take control of our confidence and bend it to our will!

First of all:

Your confidence as we just established is based on knowing a positive outcome will come from taking action. This positive outcome will lead us to feel happy and our confidence will grow with this experience.

Well, that’s all well and good, but we don’t always know what the outcome will be. We could be trying to talk to a person we like in the hopes of starting a relationship. Or maybe you are trying to give a speech in front of an audience. Whatever the case may be, we have to imagine the outcome as being something desirable.

Focus on the things you are confident about
I practiced my speech hundreds of times and I know it forwards and backward
The speech is only 3 minutes long, that’s only 180 seconds. I can do this!
This speech is really interesting and people will like to hear it
I know this material so well, that I could adlib my speech
For interactions with people
I’m a nice person, who wouldn’t want to talk with me
I’m just trying to talk with this person, not marry them (well maybe not yet)
There’s no need to get all worked up, just say hello, introduce yourself, and ask them if you could talk for a little while.
If it’s a potential customer, why wouldn’t they want to buy your product, it’s a good product.
I feel confident that I’m a good person who has the best intentions
In these situations, we have many things we are certain about. We’re certain that we have practiced our speech, we are a nice person, we have the best intentions, and that we know that if we try hard and show confidence, we will be more likely to succeed.



Let’s look at another way to build confidence.

This method involves reliving your past glory! What I mean is to look back at a time when you tried something and you were successful in it. I don’t mean anything simple like taking a shot from the 3-point line with your eyes closed, I want you to think of a time when you accomplished something substantial.
I know many of you are saying "But Adam, I haven’t really accomplished anything major and I don’t have any major victories to reflect on." Well, that may be true, you may not have won a basketball championship or gave an amazing piano recital; but I am certain that you have done something of significance in your life.

But let’s not dwell on that. If you can’t think of any past experiences, I want you to do this exercise in the same way as if you had.

Before your performance, meeting, sales presentation, or date whatever the situation may be, I want you to focus on a past victory where you had total confidence!

If you don’t have an example, then I want you to imagine your current situation that you are preparing for and imagine that situation.

Imagine in as much detail as you possibly can. Imagine the sounds of the room, the lighting, the people around you, imagine your clothing, imagine yourself standing tall talking with confidence. Imaging the person you’re talking to smiling.

Take all of this in and really let it sink into your subconscious. Because your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between reality and imagination. If you build this memory or relive a past memory, your subconscious is taking it in as a real even and it will help you feel more confident.



This last way to build confidence is something called "Incantations"

We often spend so much of our time saying destructive and harmful things to ourselves on a daily basis; it’s a wonder that we’re able to accomplish anything.

Incantations are very important to our life. Incantations are positive and motivational things we say to ourselves to build ourselves up rather than tearing ourselves down. For example:

I am confident in everything I do!
I am an excellent speaker!

When I talk, everyone listens to what I have to say!

I speak beautifully and articulately!

I am great at giving speeches

I am liked

I love myself

I am a smart man/woman and I can do anything I put my mind to

I never give up when I set my mind to a task!



Feel free to get creative with your incantations. Just keep them in the present by using "I am, I can, I do" versus "I will, I should, I did, In the future, I will"

By using these incantations in the present your subconscious believes that these things have already occurred and you should feel happy and positive about them.



Confidence doesn’t come easily and in the beginning, it will take work. But with anything, if you keep trying and keep using different strategies, you will succeed.


One last piece of advice that I recently use for myself (maybe I should have started with this). When I know a potentially stressful or challenging situation approaching I just tell myself:

"Look, you know you have to do it, you know it won’t be easy, you might even make a mistake. BUT, you have to do it. So, stand up straight, smile, and to be successful! 3, 2, 1 GO!"

Reasoning with myself sometimes works or I just say 3, 2, 1 GO! That’s usually enough for me these days.

Whichever method you choose to use, I hope they work for you and you are able to be the AWESOME Person you ALREADY are!

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